Silent but Loudly

Today I watched my little boy flirt from the backseat of our car with a little girl in a car beside us waiting in line. In his own little way he was communicating with her by smiling and waving then hiding his face when she responded by smiling and waving back to him. They say autistic kids are in their own little world and withdrawn from ours but I believe that is not the case.. I believe that they are very much in our world just in their own way. He will notice the smallest details in things such as when his daddy goes to work he checks his shoes to make sure he is wearing "work shoes" rather than everyday shoes because he knows if his daddy leaves the house in any other shoes than work shoes, he must be going somewhere without him and thats upsetting to him. For me, he checks my shoes but also my stethascope & uniform because he knows mommy works in a different setting than daddy. He will hug me when he is stressed and smell my hair because its calming to him, sometimes he hugs me to tell me he loves me and at times its a sensory thing..either way i'll take any hugs from him i can get! How can anyone think our kids are withdrawn from us when they pay more attention to us than we pay to ourselves? It is my belief that while silently they are in our world, they are in it infact loudly.

What its like to raise an autistic child

I am often asked what is it like to raise an autistic child..where do i begin? its like nothing i've ever experienced or thought i would experience. its scary, frustrating, nerve-wracking, wonderful, fun and amazing all wrapped into one giant bundle! you go from thinking something is different about your kid to the diagnosis phase, then denial because lets face it.. i still dont believe it, then you accept it & vow to change the prognosis..so finally determination sets in because you ofcourse believe with every fiber of your being that you can "fix" your kid.. but heres the thing.. your kid is fine, its the world around them thats not fine.. try a simple task like taking your kid shoe shopping.. this is what happens.. he knocks down all the shoes, freaks out by screaming and holding his ears and will lay in the floor holding his ears and god help you if you try to pick him up.. bites will ensue! the grocery store is no different..once in awhile we can make it through walmart so long as he fits in a buggy and the trip is short at home sometimes he will become overstimulated from tv or games & repetetive behaviors kick in and stopping them is so hard at times because they keep happening over & over & over no matter what you do.. what about the park? well, not much different i'm afraid.. try watching your kid wanting so bad just to play with the other kids but not knowing how.. he will smile and run up to the kids but when he cant speak, the kids look puzzled and run away or they push him out of their way because he is slower than they are and there you stand watching your kid looking confused, disappointed and rejected so what do you do..? make fewer trips to the park so your precious angel doesnt have to experience that because it breaks your heart which doesn't do him any good because he doesn't understand why he doesn't have friends some people think well he doesn't know because he is autistic they think he is naturally withdrawn but my son is different.. he doesn't know the meaning of withdrawn, he wants to be accepted and to be the center of attention but how can he be when he has no voice? and how about all those trips to childrens hospital to go through testing.. well 3-4 hours he sits in a room alone with strangers putting books, puzzles & other things infront of him some even non-verbal testing where all they do is hum and point at pictures & expect him to just understand and do what he's being told and act appropriate.. all the while not being offered food, drink or bathroom.. they say well he's severe autistic, has a low IQ and eventually they started sounding like the teachers on charlie brown cartoons where all you hear is wooomp wooomp wa woomp woomp wooooomp! I watch him with his speech device form complete sentences, i've seen him demonstrate reading & math & comprehension and i know there is no way the experts are right..i'm with him every day & his mind amazes me.. he has a photographic memory.. show him something once or twice & he's got it! especially if its on a computer or tablet or phone.. Emotionally though he is different.. things you would expect him to cry over like a sad movie such as ol yeller or if a kid he knows or any of us gets hurt you may expect him to show concern but no sadly, he does not.. BUT you watch me come home from work and immediately he's hugging me & he is very affectionate to his family..sometimes, he curls up next to me and plays his vreader. If something is funny to him or excites him, he's quick to share his joy with us even if he has no words or sign language to explain. So, this is what its like.. scary, nerve-wracking, wonderful, fun & amazing! Its certainly not for the faint of heart or for someone who has no time to dedicate to their kids because they require ALL your free time but its so worth it! I wouldnt trade him for anything and if i could "fix" him the only thing i would change is i would give him the ability to talk..i wouldn't change his personality one bit.. i really do love him just the way he is.